Me, Myself & Baby I

Out of the mouths of babes

ABC Bachelor Producers Should Have Consulted Me & Who’s In it To Win It

Today’s guest Bachelorette blog is written by my college friend Kerrie who is a huge fan of the entire Bachelor franchise and has faithfully watched every season (with the exception of one) since Season 2 of the Bachelor.  While she remains loyal to the show, her favorite Bachelor remains Andrew Firestone, and would like to send a special shout out to Bachelor Bob since he was by far the most entertaining one through the years.  Kerrie lives in Cape Cod with her husband, Alex, and their two boys, Quinn (age 5) and Nolan (almost 3).

I am a huge fan of the Bachelor. Yes, I even watch Bachelor Pad and I have stuck with the show during some pretty lackluster Bachelor choices (yes, I’m talking to you, Andy Baldwin).  I must admit none of the last three Bachelors/Bachelorettes would have been my top choice, and had the producers at ABC consulted me in advance, they could have rescued me and America from some rather tedious hours of television.  The show has suffered from featuring these relatively dull people who, quite frankly, are difficult to like and root for.  The last season really worth watching was the Jake and Vienna saga–now that was must-see TV.  They had such a volatile relationship and you never knew what would happen with those two crazy kids. Brad’s season (his second one—and why he was given a second chance is beyond me, but that’s a whole other story and a whole other blog post) held my interest, but then that led us into several seasons of boredom that have not come close to capturing the Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons of the past that I knew and loved.

That brings us to our current Bachelorette, Emily, who actually “won” Brad Wolmack’s season back in 2011.  If you can’t find love on national television the first time around, why not give it the old college try again?   We all loved Emily that season, but she’s not exactly a firecracker. Yes, Emily is sweet and pretty, and has that Southern belle charm, but, is it really necessary for a 26-year-old to wear so much make-up, not to mention implants and veneers to improve her appearance?  I have a really difficult time watching the show without thinking that she is a 38-year-old divorcee trying to reclaim her youth.  I am not sensing too many love connections, and she is really there just to find a husband. Not a soul mate, not someone she could grow old and happy with, but a husband and father for little Ricky, her young daughter whose father died before she was born.   While we are on the subject of Emily, can we talk about her obsession with sequins?  In my mind she wore no less than a dozen outfits with sequins tonight.  It’s as if she thinks she’s in a revival of “Dynasty.”

My husband has been a casual watcher of the show over the years (not necessarily by choice, but because I am such a devoted viewer), and he insists that there is no way that these 25 men would be so desperate to be married to Emily.  I agree with him that women tend to be more marriage-minded at a younger age than men, but while there are the fame seekers, some of these guys truly want to find love, and are there “for the right reasons.”   Obviously my husband is unmoved by the tears that commence when the men don’t receive a rose.

I like to wonder what would happen if we were in the “real” world and Emily were to meet these men on her own. Would she truly choose to go on dates with any of them if given the opportunity, or is she only doing so because she has a contractual obligation to ABC to see it through?   I can’t imagine a guy like Jef (yes, that’s Jef with one f) would have the courage to go up to her to ask her for a date, let alone have her consent to go out for drinks.  The only guys who she likely would go on a date with are Sean and Arie, who coincidently are the only two men who have any sort of chemistry with her.

Over many seasons of the Bachelor and Bachelorette, the group dates have somehow evolved from more “fun” excursions where the only real competition is vying for the most time with the Bachelor or Bachelorette, to a hard-core competition where the dominant alpha males prevail.  Yes, guys in real life also like to show off, but must ABC try to make the weaker men feel shamed?   Doesn’t anyone go to dinner and a movie anymore?  And I don’t mean seeing “Brave” in an absolutely blatant plug for Disney.  Shame on you, ABC!  As one of my fellow Bachelor-watchers commented, they are continually veering further and further into “Big Brother” territory with all these movie and product tie-ins.  And, was it me, or was the competition and movie more appropriate for Scotland than Croatia?  Perhaps they were supposed to film there and the plans somehow got sidetracked.

I must give Emily kudos for sticking to her guns and getting rid of two guys she was unsure of during the one-on-one-dates.  I know ABC was not too pleased since they have to figure out how they can make it to the last episode when she keeps getting rid of too many men, but I support her decision.  Both Travis and Ryan got sent packing after she realized they weren’t the ones, albeit for two very different reasons. Travis would make a wonderful husband to someone someday, and I have no doubt he will find a nice woman and have a dozen kids. Ryan, on the other hand, will continue to be an egotistical douchebag, and as time goes on and his looks wane, he will one day find himself bald, fat and alone in a saloon drinking a scotch at the end of the bar.  I am a little worried that it took Emily so long to see Ryan for what he truly was, and I still don’t think she will realize this fully until she sees the episodes air.  Did she not see his “wink?”  He is by no means an a#%hole on par with Wes or Bentley, but he’s as sketchy and skeevy as they get.  Ryan was “in it to win it” and I may have to start boycotting the show if he prevails on his desire to be the next Bachelor.

On to my favorite Bachelorette contestant of this season, Arie.  He is just absolutely adorable and truly seems to care about Emily.  Of all the men left, I think he would make a wonderful husband and father, and if Emily doesn’t realize this by the end, she doesn’t deserve him.  True, he does not have a son at home like Doug, but is that truly a way to build a relationship when the only thing you have in common is the fact that you both have children (and not with one another)?   In the beginning I was worried that the race car factor would be a negative, but they haven’t delved into that too much.  I have high hopes for Arie not only making it to the “final two,” but for him to be the next Bachelor if things don’t work out with Emily.  The last Bachelorette contestant I liked this much was Chris from Cape Cod, and two years later he is still a stand-up guy, and even though I was upset that he turned down being the next Bachelor, it showed his true character. Even though this season hasn’t brought any amazing moments, I am still looking forward to watching upcoming episodes to see who “wins” Emily’s heart. Will this finally be the season where a couple lasts beyond a year or two?   I know Trista and Ryan are quaking in their boots.

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