Me, Myself & Baby I

Out of the mouths of babes

Dear Diary, The Mommy Diaries Is a Must Read

The Mommy Diaries: How I’m Surviving Parenting Without Killing Anyone is a snapshot into the trials and tribulations of author Dallas Louis’ hectic, frenzied daily parenting life.  Dallas is the mother of three kids who all arrived within twenty-six months of each other (and none are twins). Dallas and her family of five have lived through enough moments to share a first-hand account with her readers her tears and fears through laughter, and often times, the act of surviving the early years by sheer, dumb luck!  Surviving multiple ER visits, as well as home renovation projects, all the while still maintaining a relationship with her husband (remember that guy?), Dallas dispenses funny tidbits as well as sage tips and useful life lessons.

I liked Dallas immediately.  She is real.  She is honest.  She is funny.  I’m wondering if she has ever done stand-up comedy because I want to go hear her perform.  She is someone who I would like to be mom friends with.  I think we’d get a long well.  I felt she was describing me when she wrote, “I am a bit of a planner.  I like to have things all laid out and know exactly what my next step will be.”  (page 159)  In addition, we both hate to work-out.  “I don’t get any type of buzz or whatever the deranged folks who actually enjoy that type of torture get.”  (page 164)

In Chapter 1, Dazed & Diapered, Dallas writes, …”I am a firm believer that crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.”  (page xiii) 

It’s obvious how much Dallas loves her family.  In her dedication, she says,

“Kids:  I couldn’t have handpicked any better kids, even if I ordered you from a catalog!”

Come on, I mean, how dead-on is Dallas: 

“When you get pregnant with your first baby, you have all these grand visions of how your life is going to be.  You have even stronger visions and convictions about all of the millions of things you are NOT going to do with your child.  You almost keep a running tally of the scores of mistakes that your friends are making with their little spawns in your purse, because you know full well you can do better.  Your child will not act that way in public.  And let’s face it, with a baby in the belly and none to chase at home…life is good.  Hormones make you delusional.  You have the time to obsess over how perfect Junior is going to be when he effortlessly pops out into the world and you are back in your pre-pregnancy jeans in two weeks.  Dream on.

I’m here to tell you the things your friends won’t tell you, and the other books are too scared to.  Your favorite soap opera lies to you…..”  (page 6)

In Chapter 2, she compares Disney World to parenting.  “There are all sorts of things…that will make you laugh, cry and throw-up all at the same time.” (page 34)

She reenacts when she brought her serious boyfriend/future husband/father of her children home to meet her family.  “…..he met most of my extended family…; and the absolute icing on the cake was the crowd of people wanted to know what exactly, his intentions were, and if he did, in fact, plan on marrying me, was he aware that the ring he put on my finger needed to have a rock big enough to equal one carat for every child he expected me to carry for him?”  (page 76)

Three kids and many pets later, Dallas goes on to say,

“Marriage is a constant learning process.  Having a wedding ring placed on your finger is not the end fo the game.  We don’t spike the ball and do our end-zone happy dance.  Marriage is two different people figuring out how to live together in the same house without killing each other, or the kids.”  (page 162)

In this Chapter about home renovations (The Shake Weight, Lipliner & a Paint Can), Dallas explains, “Having babies and raising kids will wear you out.  As moms, we, too, achieve that tired look and the worn-out feel.  As parents (mothers), we have high-volume traffic areas, just like our carpets.” (page 172)

“Being married with children really is about the same as living in a house that you are remodeling.  It’s loud.  It’s messy at times.  And there is constantly something that needs your attention.  Family life is the exact same thing.”  (page 175)

We are delighted to be giving away a copy of The Mommy Diaries: How I’m Surviving Parenting Without Killing Anyone to one lucky reader! Here’s what you’ve got to do to enter:

  1. Be a U.S. resident and 18 years of age or older at the time of entry.
  2. Follow this blog (hopefully you are already doing so)
  3. Leave a comment on this post telling us why you want to read The Mommy Diaries. Limit one (1) entry per person, one (1) comment per person. Double entries will be disqualified.

You can connect with Dallas on Twitter and Facebook.


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