Me, Myself & Baby I

Out of the mouths of babes

Archive for the tag “Mommy Porn”

Dear Mr. Christian Grey, You Sir Should Not Have This Power Over Us & Our Inner Goddesses


You beguile me, Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun.” (page 210)

Would YOU ever sign a NDA and contract to be submissive to who you think is the “man of your dreams”?

Maybe Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should be cast as the main characters in the Hollywood film version of 50 Shades of Grey. (You know there will be one and probably it’ll be in the works long before many of us have made it through the trilogy, if it isn’t already)

A younger actor Thorsten Kaye who played Zach Slater on All My Children (and was also on One Life to Live) is who I am envisioning the sexy, smoldering, cocky, controlling and disarming billionaire Christian Grey to look like. Reading this is certainly making up for me not having my soap opera to tune into daily. Thanks E. L. James. To put it bluntly, Christian is “50 shades f-cked up.”

According to Forbes, “The erotic trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey by British author E L James began as Twilight fan fiction that slowly built an audience online before triumphantly erupting on the publishing scene as ‘THE book everyone is talking about.’ It’s called ‘mommy porn’ for its suburban female readership and graphic sex scenes, is getting credit for spicing up marriages across the U.S. and even received criticism for encouraging women’s sexual submission.”

For a while I didn’t pay any attention to anything pertaining to 50 Shades of Grey. I never got caught up in Harry Potter, Vampires and Twilight, Hunger Games, etc and assumed this was another series along those lines. Yet I admit I was worn down and just couldn’t avoid the hype anymore. It was everywhere I turned – on fellow mom blogs that I admire and respect, on Facebook and being talked about on the playground. So when a close friend told me she had gotten her hands on a hard copy of the hard-to-get-your hands on book during a recent playdate, I begged her to let me borrow it as soon as she finished it. Once she went home, I jumped on Amazon and pre-ordered Fifty Shades Darker and the sequel Fifty Shades Freed for us to share. I am so happy I did!

“Fifty Shades of Grey has electrified women across the country, who have spread the word like gospel on Facebook pages, at school functions and in spin classes. Or as the handwritten tag on a paperback copy in a Montclair, N.J., bookstore helpfully noted, “Yes, this is THE book everyone is talking about.” -breakingnewsonline.org

We’ve all been there, and have had a “school girl crush.” Fallen head over heels for a “bad boy” who our heads know is wrong and yet we can’t stay away from. We can’t get enough of that person and don’t even recognize ourself when we are in his company.

Ana’s mom Carla explains to her, “You’ve fallen for someone, finally. Oh, honey, men, they are so tricky. They’re a different species, honey.” IF only she knew the half of it! This is not the guy you want taking your innocent daughter’s virginity.

“For the first time, I’m wishing he was -normal – wanting a normal relationship that doesn’t need a ten-page agreement, a flogger, and carabiners in his playroom ceiling…..I feel a paradigm shift. I know that if I do this with me, I will get hurt. He’s not capable, interested or willing to offer me more….and I want more. Much more. The surge of jealousy I felt moments ago tell me that I have deeper feelings for him than I have admitted to myself.” Ana, page 146.

“He is totally beguiling and I am bewitched. I place my hand in his.” (page 242)

In her Kansas City Star column, Jeneé Osterheldt writes, “For me, reading the series is like catching an episode of ‘Keeping up With the Kardashians’ during one of the E! marathons. You’re both mortified and intrigued by the glamour and dysfunction. Sometimes, you can’t stop looking.” YES!, that’s exactly how it is with this kinky best-seller. It’s a distraction and an escape from our normal, everyday life filled with responsibilities, chores, errands and compromises.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I think one of the main reasons this book appeals so much to us moms is the whole newness and excitement of their relationship. Reading their email exchanges makes me remember when I anxiously would await witty emails from my now husband. Ana and Christian’s relationship has many parallels to Carrie and Mr. Big.

I keep reciting lines from the book, including:
‘Anastasia, you should stay clear of me. I’m not the man for you.’
‘I don’t do the boyfriend thing.’
‘I’m not a hearts and flower kind of guy.’
‘I don’t make love….I f-ck hard.
‘This is all I know.’

I do have some knit-picking issues with the book including would Ms. Steele really be a graduating senior who had never had oral sex, eaten a oyster, much less have her own computer?

Well, if you would please excuse me now, I seem to have more reading to do. “…the intangible, mysterious, vague hues of gray that color my world……I flush, but then I feel seven shades of scarlet from his heat.”

Laters, baby©

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