Me, Myself & Baby I

Out of the mouths of babes

Archive for the tag “E L James”

50 Shades of Sunday or…Later’s, Baby, I’m 50 Shades Free

It was an emotional weekend for me and one that required some major R&R, TLC and much-needed down time for me with just my boys.  When I wasn’t napping or eating, I was reading.  I had been hesitant to start book 3 because I had become so disenchanted with Christian Grey in 50 Shades Darker (which I keep wanting to call Deeper).  I am thrilled to report that I am enthralled once again as soon as I began reading 50 Shades Free (in a hospital waiting room, no less, and NOT on an electronic reading device)

Reading other reviews and write-ups, I am sensing that my interest in 50 Shades is different from the majority of women.  (Hey, I always say I am a one-of-a-kind, unique, original!)

I am not reading it for the dominant-submissive lifestyle.  Nor am I reading it for the S&M or erotica.  I am drawn and attracted to Christian Grey.  He is stunningly handsome, sexy, successful, filthy-rich, intriguing, unique…..

I am reading it as a fantasy.  The same way I tuned into All My Children for over 36 years.  It’s a diversion from my normal, everyday life, bonding with other characters I have taken an interest in and can consider my “friends.”

“This is like unwrapping my Christmas present.”  he smiles up at me through his long dark lashes.”  (page 21)

50 Shades is receiving criticism that the trilogy goes against women’s lib/feminism.  But Ana is not submissive and speaks her own mind and is often what Christian would refer to as “disobedient.”

“You’re mad me,” he whispers.

“No shit, Sherlock!”

“How mad?”

“Scale of one to ten, I think I’m at fifty.  Apt, huh?”

“That mad.”  He sounds surprised and impressed at once.

“Yes.  Pushed to violence mad,” I say through gritted teeth.  (page 42)

Only a few pages in, I was already picking up what I am considering to be some ominous foreshadowing:  (Don’t worry, I promise NO SPOILERS)

“...Jose accosts me.  ‘I won’t ask you for another dance.  I think I monopolized too much of your time on the dance floor as it is…I’m happy to see you happy, but I’m serious Ana, I’ll be here for you…If you need me.‘”  (page 13)

Does handcuffs, whips and chains turn you on?

Blume Girl usually doesn’t reveal the unmentionables of their high-profile clients but it seems as though a phenomenon has swept the bedrooms of America and therefore, we just had to share our latest special orders. Does the name Christian Grey do anything for you? Or maybe you get 50 Shades of blushing just from his subtle signature of …

Does it call forth your inner goddess? Don’t worry… we won’t tell.

I am one-third into the final book, and while I want to see the conclusion, I also don’t want my time with Mr. Grey to end.

If you’ve read the full trilogy, which was your favorite and why?  (Just avoid giving any spoilers, please) 

Grey Is Starting to Remind Me a lot Like Chip

Book two starts, “I have survived Day Three Post Christian.”

My faithful blog readers don’t need ME to explain my fling with Christian Grey. (See several past blog entries under “books” category)

I devoured 50 Shades of Grey or more specifically getting to know Christian Grey. Yet, I did breathe a small sigh of relief and wasn’t devastated when I came to the end of book one. Of course there was no doubt I would be continuing the trilogy (which I had preordered on Amazon before I started book #1) but I did welcome a short break.

As of April 17th, there were more reprints of E. L. James’ trilogy and now the three books are easily accessible on all bookshelves.

Picking up Fifty Shades Darker made me think back to a Hallmark card one of my best friends (you should know who you are) sent me in college which I liked so much that I framed it and proudly displayed it in my dorm room. Unfortunately, I no longer have the image of the card, but I was able to track down the wording to “He Was Only a Chocolate Chip Cookie, But I Loved Him.” You can read it at http://www.dwlz.com/Humor/comic2.html

Like a lot of women, I am really into the whole chase and admit I usually want what I can’t have. This had a lot to do with my initial appeal to Christian. But now that everyone can have him and he’s not in such hot demand, he’s kinda cooled off a bit in my eyes. (Sorry but I’m being totally honest) As I commented to the friend who lent me her copy of 50 Shades of Grey last month, “It loses some of the allure/attraction now that the books are so readily attainable everywhere.” She completely agreed.

Like Anastasia, I didn’t want to be sucked back in and was trying to remain strong and in control without him.

“Torturous memories flash through my mind-the gliding, holding hands, kissing, the bathtub, his gentleness, his humor, and his dark, brooding, sexy stare. I miss him. It’s been five days, five days of agony that has felt like an eternity.”

Less than 100 pages into Fifty Shades Darker, I am getting turned off by Christian. His once charismatic, charming take-charge attitude is becoming quite annoying, unattractive, controlling and possessive. Maybe it’s because Anastasia feels this way as well.

I glower at him, my blood boiling, Mr. Damned Control Freak. Angry is good. Angry is better than tearful.” (page 25)

“What a difference a day can make…..It’s the Christian Grey effect. A little email sparring with him will do that to a girl.” (page 52)

I’m questioning how I’m going to get through another 300+ pages of this book and then read the last 575 pages (Freed) Maybe E. L. James should have quit while she was ahead. Why did it have to be a trilogy? I’d rather it have ended on a high note (although I didn’t particularly care for the ending of book 1) I reaffirm that this trilogy is like a soap opera with its ups and downs.

Page 99: “What am I going to do? I am so angry, but I’m not even sure what I am angry about – there’s so much.” (See mental list)

“Realization dawns. Something’s changed. What could that be?”

The cliche, “There’s a fine line between love and hate” is so true.

I keep reading…..

“Why, of why, have I fallen for someone who is plain crazy – beautiful, sexy as f-ck, richer than Croesus, and crazy with a capital K?” (page 104)

“I am not going to let you dazzle me with your sexpertise.” (page 107)

“You have no reason to be jealous, Christian. You own my body and soul.” (page 232)

My issues/annoyance with 50 Shades Darker is that they have only known each other a total of 5 weeks. Talk about rushing into something, getting swept away and caught up in the newness and excitement. The handwriting is on the wall that they are going to crash and burn, especially with such passionate, head-strong, desirable, captivating and challenging personalities.

Another disappointment I have with book 2 is that there is very few email exchanges (which was my sister’s favorite part of Fifty Shades of Grey)

As a side note, I find it very fitting that each time I try to type “fifty,” “filthy” appears on my screen. Subliminal maybe? Also, is it purely coincidence that the first time they are intimate again in Fifty Shades Darker is on page 69?

As the first dance song at the Masquerade balls plays, “I Got You Under My Skin.” (page 155)

Without providing any spoilers or giving anything away to those who haven’t read it yet, their relationship is different in Darker. In fact, Grey even gets Anastasia a different set of wheels – one that none of the other subs were given.

This post seems like a very appropriate time to mention that National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day is happening on Tuesday, May 15th. I will be devouring these as I tune in to my segment on Nate Berkus at 3PM (after all I don’t have to put on my wedding dress again now!) I will also be reviewing Sweet Loren’s all-natural, ready-to-bake cookie dough as National Cookie Dough gets closer (provided that I finally get my hands on the samples Lauren has been promising me since last Holiday season)

Lauren and I both love a sweet ending! Will we get that with Fifty Shades Freed?

“With all the f-cked-up stuff, I am losing sight of his simple, honest journey with me.” (page 188)

Sooner rather than laters, baby©.

Dear Mr. Christian Grey, You Sir Should Not Have This Power Over Us & Our Inner Goddesses


You beguile me, Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun.” (page 210)

Would YOU ever sign a NDA and contract to be submissive to who you think is the “man of your dreams”?

Maybe Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should be cast as the main characters in the Hollywood film version of 50 Shades of Grey. (You know there will be one and probably it’ll be in the works long before many of us have made it through the trilogy, if it isn’t already)

A younger actor Thorsten Kaye who played Zach Slater on All My Children (and was also on One Life to Live) is who I am envisioning the sexy, smoldering, cocky, controlling and disarming billionaire Christian Grey to look like. Reading this is certainly making up for me not having my soap opera to tune into daily. Thanks E. L. James. To put it bluntly, Christian is “50 shades f-cked up.”

According to Forbes, “The erotic trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey by British author E L James began as Twilight fan fiction that slowly built an audience online before triumphantly erupting on the publishing scene as ‘THE book everyone is talking about.’ It’s called ‘mommy porn’ for its suburban female readership and graphic sex scenes, is getting credit for spicing up marriages across the U.S. and even received criticism for encouraging women’s sexual submission.”

For a while I didn’t pay any attention to anything pertaining to 50 Shades of Grey. I never got caught up in Harry Potter, Vampires and Twilight, Hunger Games, etc and assumed this was another series along those lines. Yet I admit I was worn down and just couldn’t avoid the hype anymore. It was everywhere I turned – on fellow mom blogs that I admire and respect, on Facebook and being talked about on the playground. So when a close friend told me she had gotten her hands on a hard copy of the hard-to-get-your hands on book during a recent playdate, I begged her to let me borrow it as soon as she finished it. Once she went home, I jumped on Amazon and pre-ordered Fifty Shades Darker and the sequel Fifty Shades Freed for us to share. I am so happy I did!

“Fifty Shades of Grey has electrified women across the country, who have spread the word like gospel on Facebook pages, at school functions and in spin classes. Or as the handwritten tag on a paperback copy in a Montclair, N.J., bookstore helpfully noted, “Yes, this is THE book everyone is talking about.” -breakingnewsonline.org

We’ve all been there, and have had a “school girl crush.” Fallen head over heels for a “bad boy” who our heads know is wrong and yet we can’t stay away from. We can’t get enough of that person and don’t even recognize ourself when we are in his company.

Ana’s mom Carla explains to her, “You’ve fallen for someone, finally. Oh, honey, men, they are so tricky. They’re a different species, honey.” IF only she knew the half of it! This is not the guy you want taking your innocent daughter’s virginity.

“For the first time, I’m wishing he was -normal – wanting a normal relationship that doesn’t need a ten-page agreement, a flogger, and carabiners in his playroom ceiling…..I feel a paradigm shift. I know that if I do this with me, I will get hurt. He’s not capable, interested or willing to offer me more….and I want more. Much more. The surge of jealousy I felt moments ago tell me that I have deeper feelings for him than I have admitted to myself.” Ana, page 146.

“He is totally beguiling and I am bewitched. I place my hand in his.” (page 242)

In her Kansas City Star column, Jeneé Osterheldt writes, “For me, reading the series is like catching an episode of ‘Keeping up With the Kardashians’ during one of the E! marathons. You’re both mortified and intrigued by the glamour and dysfunction. Sometimes, you can’t stop looking.” YES!, that’s exactly how it is with this kinky best-seller. It’s a distraction and an escape from our normal, everyday life filled with responsibilities, chores, errands and compromises.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I think one of the main reasons this book appeals so much to us moms is the whole newness and excitement of their relationship. Reading their email exchanges makes me remember when I anxiously would await witty emails from my now husband. Ana and Christian’s relationship has many parallels to Carrie and Mr. Big.

I keep reciting lines from the book, including:
‘Anastasia, you should stay clear of me. I’m not the man for you.’
‘I don’t do the boyfriend thing.’
‘I’m not a hearts and flower kind of guy.’
‘I don’t make love….I f-ck hard.
‘This is all I know.’

I do have some knit-picking issues with the book including would Ms. Steele really be a graduating senior who had never had oral sex, eaten a oyster, much less have her own computer?

Well, if you would please excuse me now, I seem to have more reading to do. “…the intangible, mysterious, vague hues of gray that color my world……I flush, but then I feel seven shades of scarlet from his heat.”

Laters, baby©

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